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NBA Draft: Dear Lakers, I'm in love with a 19 year old boy

Dear Lakers: I’m in love with A 19-year-old boy

Dear Lakers: I’m in love with A 19-year-old boy

Dear Lakers: Did the Lakers Draft the Wrong Ball Boy?
Dear Lakers: The Lakerholics Anonymous (LA) 12-Step Program
Dear Lakers: Top 10 Lakers Games To Watch in 2017-18

Entry 4: 2017 Draft Top 3 Player Profiles


Dear Lakers Diary,

I’m in love with a 19-year-old boy. And who is that lucky boy you might be asking? Well it’s one of the three lucky contestants (prospects) that I will be introducing you to here very shortly. I’ve created player profiles for the potential top three players in the 2017 NBA Draft in order for you to get to know them a little bit better. If I can promise you one thing, it’s that you will not find another player profile quite like mine. Also to be noted, I don’t usually follow through on my promises. Enjoy!

Mock Draft 1.0

  1. Philadelphia Sixers- Markelle Fultz
  2. Los Angeles Lakers- Lonzo Ball
  3. Boston Celtics- Josh Jackson

Irrational Player Ranking 1.0

  1. Lonzo Ball
  2. Lonzo Ball
  3. Lonzo Ball

Markelle Fultz
Position: Point Guard
College: Washington  Class: Freshman
Age: 19            D.O.B.: 05/29/1998
Height: 6’4”     Weight: 195lbs.
PPG: 23.2        RPG: 5.7          APG: 5.9          STL: 1.6           BLK: 1.2

Weaknesses: Fultz is from Upper Marlboro, Maryland which is an obvious red flag. Upper MARLBORO, Maryland. I don’t know about the Sixers but I’d think twice about using the top overall pick to draft a cigarette connoisseur. Smoking leads to poor lung capacity and bad breath which are terrible traits for a point guard. It’s tough to be a leader on the court when all of your teammates are covering their faces on account of your dragon breath. As for poor lung capacity, good luck chasing down T.J. McConnells’ man on defense. The Sixers would have TWO major defensive liabilities so I’d suggest they pass on the Marlboro Man. Maybe the Lakers would be foolish enough to draft him if the Sixers decided to pass on him.

Strengths: Went to Washington which also happens to be the last name of our countries first president (I wonder if that’s related), so he knows a thing or two about being first overall. His college mascot was the Huskies, and nothing says Philadelphia or Los Angeles quite like a husky!

Player Comparison: Poor man’s James Harden (But right-handed).

Doppelganger: The original black power ranger.

Overall: If the 76ers pass on Fultz, I feel as though the Lakers should make him their selection with the second overall pick. A player being undersized at his position is a very big pet peeve of mine. However, physically speaking Markelle is a specimen, standing at 6’4” with a 6’10” wingspan, this will cause many mismatches for opposing point guards. He may not be the best defender of the top three projected picks, but with his size he has a lot of potential to improve in this area of his game. Out of the top three projected picks, Fultz has the prettiest shot, more specifically his pull-up jumper. As a Lakers fan, the two biggest features I’m looking for this year in our draft selection are playmaking ability and defense or defensive potential. I believe Fultz checks both of these boxes. My brain says draft this man if he’s available but my heart has fallen in love with a pair of balls.

Lonzo Ball
Position: Point Guard
College: UCLA Class: Freshman
Age: 19            D.O.B.: 10/27/1997
Height: 6’6”     Weight: 190lbs.
PPG: 14.6        RPG: 6.0          APG: 7.6          STL: 1.8           BLK: 0.8

Weaknesses: Is Lonzo Ball too big of a big baller? I don’t know about you but all of the girls I’ve been with have said they love small balls… I mean ballers. His shot looks like someone trying to describe the shape of a rainbow with their hand. This though doesn’t mean his shot is broken. Since I’m discussing a UCLA player I should mention John Wooden’s take on Bruins and Lakers legend Jamaal Wilkes unorthodox form. After watching Silk Wilkes shoot after practice one day he concluded that as long as the release is the same, the form before it doesn’t matter. So if an unorthodox shot is okay with the Wizard of Westwood, who won 10 NCAA Championships and once punched a high school football player in the face, then it’s okay with me.

Strengths: Seems to come from a very well-spoken and respectable family. A lot of kids these days may have an outspoken family member who could harm their draft stock but not my guy Lonzo. Never a peep can be heard from the people in his inner circle. Not only that but Lonzo went out of his way to make an affordable and well-designed basketball sneaker for the less fortunate children out there at the low low price of $495. You can’t say he’s not a man of the people either, because if you’d like an autographed version of his shoes well they only cost $500 more! That’s all! Very reminiscent of what Stephon Marbury did with his shoe line, and everyone know he had a long and fruitful career. I’m not positive, but I think he’s still playing in the NBA even to this day. Lonzo is definitely THE PEOPLES POINT GUARD.

Player Comparison: Jason Kidd

Doppelganger: If Drake had sex with a gargoyle.

Overall: The heart wants what the heart wants, and my heart wants Ball. Lonzo is an absolute force in the transition game. His ability to make quick decisions and find the open man are second to none. He pushes the ball after turnovers and defensive rebounds at a high speed igniting the UCLA fast break. This lead to him finding an open teammate or finishing at the rim where he shot an astounding 73% in his freshman season. UCLA was the nation’s top scoring offense in Division 1 basketball with a LARGE part of that success due to the fast paced offense initiated by Lonzo. If Rob or Magic felt the need to call me and ask me my opinion, I’d say DRAFT THIS MAN.

Josh Jackson
Position: Small Forward
College: Kansas           Class: Freshman
Age: 20            D.O.B.: 02/10/1997
Height: 6’8”     Weight: 203lbs.
PPG: 16.3        RPG: 7.4          APG: 3.0          STL: 1.7           BLK: 1.1

Weaknesses: He’s old. With Fultz and Ball being only 19 years old, it gives them much more time to grow and show improvement. As for Jackson, he’s at the alarming age of 20. Much closer to retirement then his counterparts, Jackson could call it quits in no time. How many more years can this geezer even play? As a self-proclaimed basketball expert, I don’t see Fultz or Ball catching Jackson in age anytime soon. Just another reason why these two young superstars are ranked higher than this old wily veteran.

Strengths: He’s old. First thing I think of when someone says Josh Jackson to me is maturity. He’s so mature that he thought far enough ahead to get his off the court traffic incident out of the way BEFORE he got to the NBA. Now that’s great vision.

Player Comparison: Andre Iguodala

Doppelganger: Father Time

Overall: I would’ve been completely okay if the Lakers had remained in the third slot of the lottery order because of Jackson. I felt as though no matter who the top two picks went to, Fultz and Ball would’ve been the prized selections. This would’ve caused Jackson to fall nicely into our lap in the third spot. Like I’ve previously stated, I prefer players to have some size to them at their respected position. With Jackson standing at 6’8”, this would inevitably cause mismatches on the offensive and defensive end. DEFENSE. This is something the Lakers are desperate for and this is the best aspect of Jackson’s game. His athleticism and aggressive approach on the defensive end is something the Lakers have been missing for quite some time. However, given the fact that the Lakers received the second overall pick in the lottery, I would highly recommend selecting whichever guard is available out of the two I previously reviewed. But hell, what do I know? I’m just an irrational Lakers fan.

Humbly yours,
A Lakers Fan