If the 2017 Lakers were Pop Stars
The 122-73 loss to the 29-loss Dallas Mavericks this Sunday night was one of the most embarrassing losses in the history of the Los Angeles Lakers franchise. The team, which has been dealing with injuries and underperforming as of late, played like garbage and it ruined my evening.
Lakers twitter is a cesspool of hot takes, including some of the stupidest things you could possibly imagine. Trading “Deangelo Russel” (because DLO truthers can never seem to spell his name correctly) is becoming more and more popular. Also, somehow–even though Phil Jackson and Jeanie Buss broke off their engagement earlier this month–people continue to pine for him to rise again and come save Los Angeles for the third time. Also, the Knicks suck.
Anyway, now that I got that out of my system. I have, for your enjoyment, some of the 2017 Los Angeles Lakers if they were pop stars:
Tarik Black is R&B star D’Angelo.
Much like D’Angelo, Tarik has the perfect combination of the muscle to get the job done and the smile to win your heart.
Jose Calderon is Carlos Santana.
Both men come from Spanish speaking countries, are as old as the Church of England, and have that “can somehow stick with the young bucks even though you can’t put your finger on how” type of vibe.
Jordan Clarkson is 1990’s Justin Timberlake.
Earrings, check. Seemingly unending youthful energy, check. Hangs out with famous people all the time, check. 90’s JT and JC got it going on, this I promise you.
Brandon Ingram is Wiz Khalifa.
Look at the pictures: both of these talented young men are 1) extremely tall 2) insanely thin 3) and extensively tattooed. Also, both often look like they are sleepwalking, though for different reasons.
Larry Nance Jr. is Michael Buble.
It may seem like a bit of a stretch at first, but there is a slight resemblance. Where Nance Jr. throws down thunderous dunks, Buble throws down jaw dropping Christmas albums.
Lou Williams is Andre 3000.
Both dudes are talented, perform best when they are not the focal point, and have a way with the ladies.
Metta World Peace is Ron Artest.
Lakers veteran Metta World Peace bears a remarkable resemblance to rapper Ron Artest, who dropped his solo album “My World” in 2006. The two men could be twins, it’s incredible.
D’Angelo Russell is Justin Bieber
Both guys are young, extremely talented, prodigiously dominant, with bright futures and staying power. Also noteworthy eyebrows.
Let’s turn those frowns upside down, Lakers fans.
For more, slightly less stupid stuff from me follow
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