Dear Lakers: Lottery Limbo (Part 1)

Dear Lakers: Lottery Limbo (Part 1)

Dear Lakers: I’m in love with A 19-year-old boy
Dear Lakers: The Lakerholics Anonymous (LA) 12-Step Program
Dear Lakers: Lottery Limbo (Part 2)

Entry 2: Lakers 2017 Exit Interviews (Part 1)

Date: 4/30/17

Dear Lakers Diary,

125 hours until the NBA Lottery. So until then I figured I’d pass the time with my thoughts on the Lakers individual exit interviews. It was either that or watch Kobe’s final game AGAIN in a puddle of my own tears. Happy tears. How does it go? Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened or some shit like that. Either way I didn’t feel like going on an emotional roller coaster before bed so onto the exit interviews.

Rob Pelinka: First off, I’m already exhausted with all of the Rob Lowe comparison jokes. I get it. He looks like Rob Lowe. A real knee slapper. Really looking forward to hearing those gems for an entire season next year! Sorry I had to get that off of my chest, now back to his exit interview. Basically he reassured everyone that they have contingency plans for whichever way the ping pong ball bounces. Similar to myself where if it goes our way I’ll be celebrating with a bottle of whiskey, and if it doesn’t I’ll be mourning with a bottle of whiskey. Also, I think he knows Kobe.

Luke Walton: The keywords in this interview were growth and development. Creating a foundation in which the organization can continue to build on. Implementing a better defensive approach for the future (been hearing that for years now). Making sure that the players are buying into the culture. Blah. Blah. Blah. Love Coach Luke but I’m just tired of hearing all of the same stuff. Let’s just focus on continuing to showcase these improvements on the court. Also, I didn’t appreciate Luke saying he didn’t expect to win the title this year. In my warped mind the Lakers have a real shot at going 82-0 every year. This probably explains my seasonal depression.

Brandon Ingram: I love me some tiny dog. He’s got that “I might fall asleep at any moment” look to him. I truly believe that this kid is going to be a superstar in the league very soon. He’s also a human yawn. From now on, when I’m having trouble falling asleep at night I’ll just watch this interview and fall right to sleep. “Mr Sandman, bring me a dream! (bung, bung, bung, bung) Make it a title for my Laker team”. Thank goodness for the obligatory Kobe question too.

Tarik Black: Boom Boom is just an all-around remarkable human. Impossible to dislike him. He’s done an amazing job carrying on the legacy of the number 28, formally worn by Laker Legend DJ MBenga. TACOS. He’s living proof that players can actually improve on their free-throw shooting. Even though I don’t consider him a main part of the Lakers young core I’d love to keep him around. Like he said, maybe he can continue to work on his game and become part of that core. Wait no Kobe question? Do we even count this as an exit interview?

Julius Randle: The first official piece to the Lakers rebuild a few years back (unless you’re a Swaggy disciple). He says the RIGHT things, goes about the game the RIGHT way, approaches the offseason with the RIGHT state of mind, he’s the RIGHT guy for the future. Hey Julius what are you going to focus on this offseason? “Getting in even better shape”. *Cough* RIGHT HAND *Cough* Excuse me. All joking aside, when Julius makes quick decisions with the ball on the offensive end he’s deadly. Those triple-doubles this past season aren’t a fluke, they’re a sign of what’s to come if he continues to improve and become more consistent. Right?

Tyler Ennis: I wonder why Tyler’s interview was much shorter than everyone else’s? I could potentially see him receiving a training camp invite next year but I don’t believe he makes the final roster. He finally received a fair shot at some playing time when he came over from riding the bench in Houston. However, there could be a log jam at the point guard position if we luck out and get… Nope. Not going to go there. Not worth the letdown. 125 hours until the lottery.

David Nwaba: Going undrafted to making the D-Fenders of the D-League, uh G-League, to arguably one of the Lakers best defenders. Delightful. The defensive mentality he brings to the hardwood is exactly what the front office (and myself) like about Nwaba. When asked what he needs to work on this summer, David says his shooting and ball handling. That reminds me, what do they say again in the movie BASEketball? “Well, we’re pretty good at basketball. As long as we don’t have to run or jump or dribble.” Whichever way you look at it, Nwaba has far exceeded expectations and in his eyes ahead of schedule. Nwaba!

Jordan Clarkson: How was the meeting with the front office? “Shout out to Randy’s Donuts. Fire.” Exactly, couldn’t have said it better myself Jordan. Splitting time coming off the bench at the beginning of the season to starting towards the end could make a player go nuts (for donuts? Terrible joke) but not Jordan. Obviously his role could once again change depending on how much everyone prayed to the basketball gods but one things for sure, Randy’s Donuts are fire. Kobe mention!

Part 2 coming soon…

Humbly yours,
A Lakers Fan

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