Dear Lakers: Dear Swaggy P

Dear Lakers: Dear Swaggy P

Lakers trade for Tyler Ennis
Retrospective: Los Angeles Lakers #2 draft picks.
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Entry 9: Dear Swaggy P

Date: 7/5/17

Dear Swaggy P,

From the moment
I saw you launching contested threes
And stealing game winning shots
From your teammates
In the Staples Center
I knew one thing was real:

I fell in love with Swaggy P.

A love so deep I gave the Lakers store all my money—
From my beer money stash
For my Swaggy P jerseys.
As a twenty-two-year-old boy
Deeply in love with Swaggy P
I never saw the end of the Swaggy era.
I only saw myself
Running out of beer.

And so I watched.
I watched every single damn game,
Drank every last beer for you.
You asked for my eyes,
I gave you my time and my money
Because it came with so much more.

I watched through D’Antoni and Scott
Not because my Lakers loyalty called me
But because SWAGGY P called me.
I watched every game for YOU,
Because that’s what you do
When your team sucks and someone makes you feel as
Alive as you made me feel the season after Kobe’s injury.

You gave a now twenty-six-year-old boy something to cheer for
After his favorite player ever tore his Achilles
And I’ll always love you for it.
But I can’t love you obsessively for much longer.
This season is all over and you’re now a Warrior.
My heart can take you signing with the champs
My mind can handle you winning a ring
But my Lakers loyalty knows it’s time to say goodbye.

And that’s OK.
I’m ready to let you go win a ring.
I want you to know now
So we both can savor every Swaggy P moment we had together.
The good and the Byron.
We have given each other
All that we have.

And we both know, no matter what happens in Golden State,
I’ll always be that fan
With the Chinese knockoff Swaggy P jerseys
Garbage can between my legs
:05 seconds until I pass out
Beer in my hand.
5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1

Humbly yours,
A Lakers Fan

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